| pozole |
[Oct. 31st, 2004|02:40 pm] |
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at my dads house..weird =) |
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| forgot to mention........ |
[Sep. 5th, 2004|10:29 am] |
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got into this bug-huge-ass fight with jose....around the time we were suppose to go to Cristy's wedding.......didn't go, really wnated to, at least to the church, but I didn't have a ride. I'll see how I can make it up....yeah, aside for empire and being online, it was crappy |
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| when i ask you to be nice.. |
[Sep. 5th, 2004|09:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sugar HiGh - Empire Records Soundtrack | ] |
I don't know. I'm trying to think about what to write but this song's in my head, well cause it's playing right now. So early, I slept at like 3 this morning. I didn't have a great day yesterday, but chatting with lai and erick online was really cool. Marlon too! =) well after I called Garrett and he and I talked forever, about what I don't know, but it's funny that we're much older and talk about all kinds of stuff. I love him, never really told him what happened. But I think we'll always love each other no matter. He's visiting his girlfriend this morning...she's going to hurt him, has already started, but as nice as he is, he'll just dismiss it as nothing...or with an I dunno. We've been hanging out a little lately, on thursday, he came over, watched 13 going on 30 and then we went to Mel's Diner, one of my favortie places, not the one near the Chinese Theater but the one on Sunset annnd........I forgot the cross street, but it'further than the Whiskey. After we ate some food, and I grossed him out by eating pickles, geeze, what is it with guys and hating, like really hating pickles, I don't know any guy who doesn't wince at the sight of a girl eating them. whatever. i love pickles.
Ok, so after lunch, I knew he was glum so we went to his favorite, or so I thought, well actually would have been special had he not been there the week and Saturday before...the Beach. We drove down Sunset then down pch to Santa Monica, it was pretty cool, we were listening to the HOrrorPoPs, great band. We got to Santa MOnica and just walked along hte pier, we got to the end and he went down to where the fishers were at and I sat down on bench just staring out and to the sun. It was a pretty day. We didn't stay very long, and went home...in a crap load of traffic. I didn't mind though, I put the Beatles on Garrett fell asleep, wasn't sleeping for days actually, so it was good for him. Finally from the 1 to 10 E to the 110 N to the 5 South, we were finally in glendale. WHile in Downtown on the 110, his girlfriend Silvia called, I woke him up cause she hadn't called in days...
Switched cars then he went home. That was a nice Thursday, too bad we didn't go to the becah earlier. I told him the next time Joanna goes fishing at Redondo with everyone to call me, they always do, but I, we'll someone could never go...
Didn't do much yesterday, the best thing about yesterday is that we rented Empire Records, I love that movie, favorite scene, when Joe plays the drums and everyone's lip singing and dancing, lucas is hot. |
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| first post @ BorLand |
[Aug. 17th, 2004|08:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blessed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You're nobody till somebody loves you - Dean Martin | ] |
la la la...I'm working for MAXIMUS...a program supervised by the county at a county office. Everyone's nice there...only problem, no computer! killing me, which is why I haven't posted in forever, or you haven't seen me online, or if you have, it was Jose using my sn to play computer games online. Yeah, like he reads this stuff, doesn't like livejournal, or anything like that, he actually feels that the internet and email should be used for business purposes and such, i say, shut up...anyhoo...my dad buys bootleg DVD's, he's funny like that, well economical is more like it, plus they're not that bad, well he knew I was pressed for cash, everyone who has had a job and then left, and then had to get another job, knows that it takes forever to get paid, especially if you start later in the pay period....well yeah, so basically I had no money, only source of income, Jose, but all I heard was...no money, (didn't stop him from buying Video Games)....bitter hunh! shut up. So my ever-so-sweet Dad, whom I don't deserve [well at least not @ this lifetime] comes over the house, he keeps telling me to watch A cinderella story, and I told him I already saw it, [i'm frustrated about so many things at this point that a movie, let alone, freaking Hilary Duff crying, would definately not make me feel any better] He hands me the movie, I don't open it yet, I'm just trying to have a conversation with my dad. A few moments later I take off the plastic, and open the movie, I quickly close it cause there's money in there! I think it only like 30 some $...and I tear up...very emotinal. anyone on their own can relate perhaps? well...I was so grateful and so I don't know...I'm very lucky. So it's time for him to go to his home, with his...family. He tells me to watch the movie, I give him this huge hug trying to fight back the tears...he leaves. I go back inside and then I open the dvd to watch, and there was $300 inside...I'm so glad the ATM only allows you to take out 300 max, or else he would have taken out more...
that was a good end to a horrible day..
So with that money, I used it to pay for my breaks, $200
A week later I'm driving home from work and I get a flat tire...on the freeway, of course at this time, my cell isn't working, and with all the things going on, you'd think i'd be use to everything, i start to cry....luckily i'm not that far, walking distance from my house, but still, how am i going to get my car to the side of the road and then what am i going to do with my car??...i pull over......and just when I'm about to start crying my eyes out like a big baby....an orange, beater, 2-door honda, comes zooming down in front of my car, backs up really fast. They come to my car window, I get out and they are these 2 mexicans who don't speak any English. They quickly got their tools, took out my spare and changed my tire. I was so grateful. All I could do was thank them. I didn't have any cash on me, they just smiled and told me my tire wasn't fixable, i told them it didn't matter. I really don't know what I would have done if they didn't help me.
which brings me to my other thing, since that day I haven't driven to or from work, jose, you know that guy i was being bitter about has been taking me to work, and my dad, and joanna have been picking me up, it's been like a week.
I don't know what I wanted to post exactly but now, thinking about what I've been writing, I'm very grateful, and someone up there must like me...
I thank God for unanswered prayers...I will think of this when I don't get my way or something..at least I'll try =) |
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| hello |
[Jun. 24th, 2004|10:00 am] |
hi, everything is going better.
Dinner last night was perfect! can't make rice dammit.
=)
my stomach hurts, lunch today @ charlie's trio with the staff...must be nice |
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| calling all angels....... |
[Jun. 23rd, 2004|07:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 99 red balloons - GOldfinger | ] |
I am work right now...I think things are getting way better...June 30th WOULD BE the shittiest day, however! Superman, lol SPIDERMAN, comes out, and then since that's my last day of work...=/...I can watch the midnight showing and Jose is going to suffer the next day @ work while I get to sleep in!!! Yeah..I'm getting scared, it's only next week.
Friday, it was my best friend Jhona's birthday, she turned 21, finally, I was VERY reluctant to go to it...but in the end, I decided to go. JOse and I got there and we got hugs and hellos galore!! Joannas dad came all the way from across the room just to say hi and stuff. It was pretty cool! We got to stay and hang out with Timothy, which was weird, but I'm glad all the crap between us is in the past, but he still apologizes for stuff he said and did....and so do I...
So on Saturday I was all excited about going to the beach with Jose and actuallly going into the water, we've only been there twice before, 1st time was when Joanna, Jasmine, and I cooked this huge romantic dinner thing, and bar-b-que thing @ Huntington...total disaster, we got lost, too windy, and took forever to light the bonfire....he was, as always appreciative though. The next time was when we went the day after he came back from Cancun, that was to Santa Monica....very fun, it was a night, so it was sweet.
...yeah so we went and it was soooooooooooooooooo fun, swam, played, took a nap, had sandwiches, candy, soda, chips,and this huge ceasar salad. We went to Zuma and it was a nice drive.We got home around 6, took a nap, and then we left to the knitting factory to go see Zeon, jacob, david, and carlos' band, they were pretty good, I want to see them again to support, they have a lot of potential....and we're going to see Pure Intent next time too...promise. After the show, walked around Hollywood, ate at the hat and then went home.
I really wanted to see Garrett....boo
Sunday was Father's day. It was so cute though, cause Vi and I put the music on really loud, she cleaned th bathroom and I cleaned the kitchen. It was fun. take off your shoes when come in the house! =)At around 6 I picked my dad up from his house and we went to Chueys in Glendale. We talked about all kinds of stuff. We need to spend more time together, but with his new instant family, it's a little weird.
Monday didn't do anything! just moped.
Last night Jose and I were going to have dinner but we didn't know where to go, so I asked him if he wanted to pick up our cousins and go somewhere. We went to CHUCK E CHEESE!!! We took pictures and got 100 tokes, htebest part is that all the games only require 1 token!! It was fun. Took them home around 10:30 and went home.
Jose FINALLY put the mail box up. Stupid mailman who yelled @ Vi.
Monday, I had a job interview, they called me yesterday to clarify some things and they'll let me know. Erick also asked me if I would one day a week in ORange County for one of our doctors....I'll do that too...we'll see. |
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| float on |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|09:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FloaT on - Modest MouSE | ] |
things are looking up! Thank GOD! =)
school = good
work = tbd
weenie roast was good, hoobastank was fucking awesome! the hives were great. BEaStiE Boys were SoOoOoOOo much fun! And the strokes were GUHREAT! so drunk off his ass and some guy tackled him and some chick stole his neckalace. dumb stalker! Well thats it for now...thanks Chris. =)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.good weekened. Oh! i also took my two cousins to ZUma beach yesterday I finally got a little tanned! So much fun, the water was clean, it was such a pretty day. Jose and I are going thisweekend! tats the end of it.
i have to go to warped tour.
was suppose to go to beat but nothing to wear and i was asleep by 8:30...so tired =) |
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| take me home..i give up, then i get fired |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|03:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I'll be - that one song that all guys sing to their g-friend | ] |
My life is this pattern of shit..one after the other. Oh now I'm not crying. I'm just mad. I have an excuse for everything. I think that if there's a reason for everything, then anything can be postponed or fixed. We're all suppose to focus on the positive things, but they are far and very few in between.
I have yet another failure to add to my list. No more school. Why? I could say it was because my work needed to me work and in order to go to school, i need money. I need to work to get money...blah blah blah.
June 30 is going to be like the worst day. My sign expires. I'll be unemployed. I won't be going to school. The only really good thing is that Spiderman opens...and that's pretty sad.
I want to go home and take a nap. I've been doing that a lot lately. I don't remember my dreams anymore so I'm not thinking about my problems. I wish everything would just be ok. |
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| weird...what the(*()$*#)(#40-30-4390 |
[Jun. 10th, 2004|12:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Crazy for You - MaDoNNa | ] |
i got this weird response this morning. Oh well. Got to sleep in about 40 more minutes. I got home at like 1:30 last night from the airport with veronica and erika, veronica picked me up at 4:30 from work and then we went to Erika's house...then the airport. It was fun, we were there forever though. I bought 13 going on 30's soundtrack, it's missing THrilleR!...hmm...at work right now, I get out at like 7, so sleepy. I talked to Will last nite, told him I missed him. I have to get Jose a ride from work today, I should be calling Joannie but we'll see. AND THEY FINALLY fixed our phone at our house! call our cells!. Oh and I got to talk to Jan last night. I really miss her. Glad to hear all is well with most people. My aim at work isn't working so I haven't been able to chat. boo.
yeah, today is pay daY! rent money!
beat it? |
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| promise of a better day |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|12:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  shitty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Save Ferris - Mistaken | ] |
The day looked like it was going to be good, but no, the dumb trash can people left the stupid thing in my way and I hit Vi's car, its not bad actually, he can barely tell....great...and it was after she gave me an orange and wished me a good day at work. As sweet as she is pointed that she was going to have her bumber replaced anyway, so it would be ok....I don't get I've back out of that driveway so many times and I've been good, even with that dumb ugly purple saturn....great more money I don't have.
THEN! I'm at work, my boss says he's taking us out for lunch cause he's been mean to us lately....guess what, someone has to stay and answer patient phone calls, guess what, i stay, guess what it's been 20 minutes and no has called.
Later! LAter! I'm got so much shit on my mind. I'm mad, sad, confused, and all of that other crap.
and don't even get me started on jose, he said no finally...
we'll make it through cause you love me and i love you..
it's been 45 minutes now, still no call. wa wa wa |
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| cowardly lion |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|09:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FLoAT oN - Modest Mouse | ] |
Yeah, so when I was a kid my dad bought me this collection of Wizard of Oz figurines from the Franklin Mint I think and bought this display sorta case for it. He said he took inventory of the figurines and couldn't find one...it was the cowardly lion, ironic since that was the latest nickname I gave that one guy.
Things in that department are not going as expected, "i thought you were never one to give up?" I don't give up I get fired....however it does allow me to spend a lot of friend quality time with Jose, we saw Harry Potter last night...i love fandango.....the only bad part was that we sat in the 2nd row. It was so F*cking awesome. These movies just get better and better, I think the fact that they're older and that there was a new director it made the movie what is was. I'm going to see it tomorrow @ the IMAX theater...YEAH!
Today I have to do a crapload of house cleaning, first my room, then the living room and then the bathroom and kitchen. I'm excited as can be.
By the way I'm poor. Should I pay my dumb phone bill, even though I don't ANY reception @ my house...probably
DUDE! there's a taco stand around my house, actually its in a room, anf they got an A...best part,, menudo on Sat and Sun...and today's SATURDAY!!! yeah!
CRISTY AND KRYSTLE! OMG! HARRY POTTER
....float on, my new feel good song, seriously you want to be mean to me, i dont care just [lay the f*cking song in the background and i'll be ok. It reminds of Will and Vero, the song that is. =) (However, that's not an invitation to do so) ps. i really like that video too |
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| no one else will do....back where i started...AGaiN! |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|01:25 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | always and forever @ work of course | ] |
This morning was suppose to be great but of course I get scolded...bah!
Oh well.....back to that one guy, I called him yesterday afternoon, and then I texted him, but no response...I still give him 3 days...2 more now...
I'm sleepy........
Tomorrow the AquaBats!!! Friday, Harry Potter, lol i always spell it pooter...Saturday, Disney, Sunday, I dunno...
cowardly lion...i think thats better than dollface |
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| strawberries and creme...with a little bit of vodka |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|03:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Clocks - - - Coldplay | ] |
I never meant to cause you trouble...
Last night, met some new people, hung out with Veronica and Will. He and I talked last night and everything is good. At least I feel so much better now. This is a really good feeling...=) I kinda wanna hang with him tonight...eh, well see, all depends on him
I also patched things of with Chris.
Sorry about the other night guys...sorta, but still.
Yes, but last night....it went very well. Today I made a mistake and called him, but if he gets back to me then all is well, if not, I'm back at where I started again.
Work today is great, I was actually in the front working with patients and answering calls, as opposed to the billing department....too many phone calls though. Ok.........making dinner tonight, ravioli, salad, bread, and jose's bringing dessert!
I'm hungry all i had was a bagel with creme cheese and peanut m&m's.....k |
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| well hello there |
[May. 29th, 2004|05:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i think we're alone now - Tiffany | ] |
We were suppose to go to Santa Barbara today, of course, Jose and I were ready, the tickets were paid for, and Melissa helped us route our stay with a drawn little map, of course this all seemed so perfect which is why we didn't end up going =/ But yeah...Joanna was suppose to pick us up but duh, she was late...shoulda known better.........
we ended up, well jose ended up fixing my bed, or putting it back together actually...It looks good, now we just have to clean..........this weekend isn't going to be a total bust, we're going to Disneyland tomorrow and we're going to the beach on Monday, Pismo maybe.......
.....sigh, it's almost June 30, I'm a little scared. Must have 3 months rent prepared. =/ |
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| pch...sorta...come what may |
[May. 27th, 2004|02:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tainted LoVe <3 | ] |
I said that no matter what I would love Jose forever. I really do think that we're eventually going to be together, it's just a matter of when...
I think marriage is definetly postponed for a little while longer. That's what I get.
Now, for the hard part....making sure this never happens.
But for the record..I didn't break up with jose for [him]...it was going to happen. [he] just happened.....but now that's a loss. And I'll just have to grow from this expierence and pray that we don't do this to each other..........
sat...train ride to santa barbara...platform 9 3/4 |
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| stuck in the middle with [you]...mr. pink or mr. blue |
[May. 26th, 2004|08:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stuck in the middle with YoU - Steeler's WHeeL | ] |
It's so weird how one week everything is great and then you!, i really mean me, open my big mouth and mess everything up. I still stand firm with whether [he] happened or not I still would have broken up with Jose.
I think that everything happens for a reason, but when will the reason reveal itself? When will everything be ok. Why don't people completely love the people who love him so much. WHY anything?
I also never counted on him having remotely any feelings for me. But it's ok cause he's not going to pursue anything cause I'll always be Jose's [girlfriend]...
too much information. blast you journal...jose hates this thing by the way. he should just hate me, but dammit, he's too nice...and too much of a great guy..
did i mention i've been sick all weekend, and i haven't talked to him since FRIDAY NIGHT... |
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| this awkward silence makes me crazy... |
[May. 22nd, 2004|10:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejected | ] |
| [ | music |
| | INCUBUS - Talkshow on Silent | ] |
Why is it when everything's perfect, there's always this one little thing to create this huge domino effect to shit on EVERYTHING??!
yeah, i'm not in a relationship anymore...and there's nothing to pursue.
did i mention i'm renting and i'm not going to have a job after june 30? yeah, it wouldn't be any other way...
and how do you stay close to the one person you can't be close with, who makes your life whole? |
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| malum in se |
[May. 20th, 2004|07:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stroke Nine - Little Black Backpack | ] |
i need to not do something..
yesterday was really bad..bad for me and then later i found out jose got ino a car accident...thank God it was only his car that got messed up, but still it was scary.
the glass isn't half full or half empty, it's broken.
...don't wanna talk about it... |
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| i hope i' |
[May. 17th, 2004|04:23 pm] |
Here's something to think about
When things go wrong all the time
That luck can change like that high tide
Bad things can soon turn out alright
Misfortune, a tradgedy
I can't seem to mind
Soon good will happen
If you look you just might find
So when you think this is the end
Good things are just around the end
Again, bad things are just a sign
Good things will happen in due time
And with each passing day
So goes another life
Everybody wants to live
Some people want to die
So close your eyes
'Cause it's alright to say
Hello, Goodnight
Goodnight
So if this is to be our time
Just think of what we left behind
Will they say good of you to last
Or lose the memory of you fast?
Forever and ever
A wonderful thing
Will someone be grateful
For what we tried to bring?
It's late....
But just remember then
This day will never come again
Everybody wants to live
Some people want to die
So close your eyes
'Cause it's alright to say
Hello, Goodnight
Goodnight
Goodnight
Hello, Goodnight. . . . . |
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| this song will become the anthemn of your underground... |
[May. 17th, 2004|10:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | At youR FuneRaL - Saves the day | ] |
Anticipation is important in life, school, and work. The computer not working is not a valid excuse when there are four other computers in your area. If you can identify a pattern at school or work where you do not deliver on time because of xyz then I suggest you change your processes, priorities, and focus. Some professors or bosses may accept excuses, however most would prefer results. You must decide which category you are going to be in. |
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